Bernard Bernard had a lot on his mind to say that day But for the shame of it He wasn't going to speak to his father face to face And so he pulled out his phone It was time for him to face his mess But he'd be doing it only through text Dear dad, he writes I.. I am gay But I am not happy and proud to say this to you over a text message But I sincerity hope that you could hear the sincerity of my broken heart i am broken too just like you are today hearing my truth But unlike you I have been heart broken a million times over I have been torn apart for years and years to find out what i have become My years of anguish are so far that i cannot recall Dad it was my fifth birthday Mum had her hands too busy in the kitchen making the cake And you were all smiles hanging decorations for the day My little party guests and i danced and played around and around like kids would do Be careful not to hurt yourself A call from behind But It wasn't you It wasn't mummy too It was him Uncle Tosin The one with scanty beard on his chin The one you always sang the song “when will you marry” to “Come with me I have something to show you “ “I have a gift for you” I was an inquisitive child You know I was inquisitive dad And so in his hand, he took my little hands And led my little feet Down into the guest room “close your eyes” “this gift is a surprise” He said to me I closed them For what was I to do For all I was, was a child eager to see what he had wrapped somewhere I have a gift for you I was an inquisitive child You know i was And so in his hand he held my little hand And led my little feet Down into the guest room Close your eyes This gift is a surprise He said to me I did as he said for I was eager to see Promise not to tell anyone This gift is a secret that only you and I should share I promised, for what was I to do, for I was just a child eager to see what he had hidden somewhere Open your mouth he said He said You have such beautiful lips He said Promise, promise to keep this safe He said Before I could say a word I felt his lips pressed against mine And his tongue Forcing its way into my little mouth It was disgusting But what was I to do For I was only a child who stood there confused Overwhelmed by the tides of uncertainties My curiosity couldn’t hide my fears I shook within my knees I prayed I prayed that your voice would call out my name and save the day But all I heard was silence Nothing. Calm down Bernard He said to me You are beautiful beyond description He said to me Let me calm you down He said to me Unzipping his trousers Taking me by the hand and making me touch him He made me touch something that once upon a time I felt was only for passing out urine But who lied Because that day he showed me it was for pleasure too See he touched me, he touched me in ways I had never been touched before At first it was disgusting But after time and time again I began to enjoy it I began to long for it And as we as kids grew older And our desires for sex soared My case became different For when boys like me saw boys I saw girls When boys like me longed to kiss girls I longed to kiss boys See I wanted it to go away I prayed for it to go away I even cut myself with a knife to see if this demon would bleed away But NO this was me This is me See, this message is not to lay aspersions or blame blames No. Because Uncle Tosin he died many years ago from HIV and AIDS But this message is to let you know That I will be getting married soon In the UK His name is Tom And unlike me, He says he was born this way. Copyright: Philip Asaya.
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