Find Love (3)
When the people who sing melodies of love into your…
I used to ask myself if I was the only human being that didn’t seem to rotate with the earth. But then again, I will laugh at myself and call myself names I wouldn’t enjoy someone else call me. But really, I stood there looking at Miriam trying to hold back whatever she was trying to reveal to me and I suddenly felt like I didn’t take too much time to notice the world revolve around me, I knew exactly what she was going to say but I chose to ignore. The she told me Lami cared so much about me and I tried laughing it off, trying to convince myself that Miriam must have taken actions for what they aren’t. But it seemed she wasn’t, she was convinced.
“Do you know her Dog was sick? And died this night?” her voice didn’t speak of vulnerability. It spoke of pity.
“Wresley? Dead?” I asked in disbelief.
“Yes Bala, she came to pick you up this evening so you two can take the Dog to the vet together. The Dog had food poisoning and you were nowhere to be found. And she had options, to take the dog to the vet or look for you because your phone was switched off. And she looked for you for twenty (20) good minutes, she saw me at Basement and I told her you must have gone home, we decided to come and check up on you. But on getting to the car, she checked on her Dog and it had gone worst. The vet said he could have done something if we had brought it earlier.”
“GOD… NOT WRESELY… PLEASE!!!” I screamed. Wresley was 8years old, the only friend that Lami had when she needed the whole world. She had convinced her Dad to allow her take the dog to school. Wresely was smart, he could understand English and Yoruba; and whenever I entered the compound, I would go to his cage and say ‘Kabiyeshi Oh!’ then he would raise his left paw, like he was blessing me. Whenever I was bathing him, I would say ‘Permission to wash the royal manhood’ and he would raise one of his hind legs like he was peeing. She cherished him, My 9th Birthday gift, she called Wresely and I called him Kinging. How was it that she chose to look for me knowing that I would rather be unsafe than see that dog die?
“I am sorry. She didn’t want you feeling guilty, not after the incident in church so she begged me not to tell you. She needs you…” I dashed into the room before she finished, looked for whatever cash I had and I headed for the gate. Miriam followed me, we boarded a cab to BDPA.
“I will highlight at maingate. You two need time alone.” Miriam said. She waited for me to say something but I didn’t say anything. “I will see you two tomorrow alright?” A hug it was, then she came down at main gate. The Cab driver asked where in BDPA I was going, I wanted to keep quiet but I hate disrespecting people who are just doing their work. I told him and I slipped back into “What on earth am I going to say to console her?” Consoling was not my field.
I entered the compound and with an iota of doubt, I went to the cage, hoping to see the King but he wasn’t there. Miriam was serious. I went to her room to knock but she wasn’t there, the car was in the compound so it didn’t make sense. I stood in front of her door, then I saw her shoes in front of my room which was about three rooms from hers, she was there. I knocked and it took her minutes before she opened the door. Her eyes were blood red, she was wearing one of my shorts on my favorite Tees.
“Got tired of people asking where your King was so I came here. Please don’t ask?” she said, sitting on the mattress.
“I am sorry babe. I am sorry…” I said lots of rubbish that I could have simply summarized with: I AM SORRY FOR KILLING WRESLEY…
Go and hug her dummy… you are too dumb… Ah-an… I had to obey this voice in my head; it had a good sense of humor.
The hug reactivated her cry; she cried on my shoulder for about twenty good minutes, she didn’t want to sleep. I had few sleep inducers somewhere in the room but I couldn’t think of drugging her, so I allowed her rest on my body, cuddling her. I had never felt such drive, a drive to do whatever it would take to make her stop crying. And then she started telling me how he died.
“He took his last breathe looking at me, his heart fought and his eyes were hopeful. I told him it was alright to close his eyes Bala, I told him that it was alright to let go. Then there was the last cry, Wresley closed his eyes and I called him Kabiyesi… he tried raising his left paw but… ”
Oga silent this girl!… Kiss am, she is not helping herself and definitely not helping you by talking…
I couldn’t take it again; the fact that he died feeling like a Kabiyesi was hurting. I planted a kiss on her lips and that was all it took to silent her, but the kiss didn’t stop the pains, it was like her tears was seasoned with emotions and it was killing, but we didn’t want to stop, this pain deserved to be shared, it deserved to be felt, and if it consumed me, then let it be that it was worth it.
Ok… I think the pains turned emotions and emotions turned into crazy hormones and hormones were trying to eliminate the fact that I had a brain.
Guy! Hafa nah? We nor like where this thing dey go oh!! – Yeah, suddenly all the voices became one. Freaking legion…
“We can’t be doing this right now, you need to rest.” I said, yeah right…
“Why didn’t you tell me the truth?” I asked her, her drive was not like someone that was a Lesbian. Lami had feelings for me, she was crazy about me.
“Because I didn’t think I deserved you.” She answered.
“And you had to lie about your sexuality?”
“I didn’t lie Bala, that night at the hotel, I didn’t go there with Timi. He was not even my date, He only took me to the club. I went to that hotel with a girl, and nothing felt right. I had to bail out.” Lami said.
You want to guess why she bailed out? Because she was in love with me, something she thought was impossible.
“You deserve the whole world Lami, and you deserve Love. And I am not even sure I can give you this Love… Love…” I paused and smiled, then I continued; “I felt it today for the first time in my life, and… words… words… words can’t express the feeling.”
“Yeah! Miriam, lucky girl.” She said.
“Ode! I meant Jesus.” I said, and then I realized I was not wearing my glasses. I didn’t remember to take them and it didn’t feel right, my sight was not blurred, I could see properly.
“Ok! This might be crappy but I think I can see very well. Like my eyes are correct.” I stood up from the bed to go pick up some printed notes and I could read everything. Lami didn’t understand what was happening, but whatever it was, she believed me. And to proof that she did, she gave me a look that had ‘Please tell me the Muscle ish is gone’ all over it. No, it was still there.
“Nah! Maybe it will go later sha!…” I said, then I told her about the experience at the fellowship. She smiled, shook her head and said; “God works in mysterious ways indeed.” How come she was smiling?
“I know it’s awkward but I think Wresley died for a reason.” she said
“I don’t get…” I said.
“Yeah! Same here. It’s just a feeling anyway.”
We stayed awake till midnight talking about our lives. And then she was feeling sleepy.
“Goodnight Bala…” she said.
“Geez! You mouth stinks Lami.”
“Ode! Stop begging for a kiss in a subtle way.”
“I blame you?”
And then she slept, and I was afraid of sleeping. Make I nor go wake up and prah! The eye problem and migraine is back.
So I went to her room to take her laptop, opened Microsoft word and decided I was going to write about how much just Four months in UNIBEN have affected my Life. And before I retire with the end of this pen, I would like to say… I don’t know what is coming next, I don’t know if I Love Miriam Stephens or Olamide Stinson, I am not even sure what love is anymore, but one thing is sure… I am going after that Man that gave me a glimpse of what Love is, that Man that surely denied me of my sleep this night, and when I do see him, I will ask him what I did to deserve all he has done. And guess what? I won’t be doing it alone. I have got two ummmm… three beautiful women that will support me in the journey. And damn they are sexy as – Ok! Now that I want to find him, I don’t think he would like it if I say My Mum, Miriam and Olamide are sexy as hell. Don’t ask me why, ask him when you find him.
My name is Balarabe, Balarabe Jang, and I am untamed.
Watch out for the PDF format of the compilation of all the episodes. Thanks for reading. God bless YOU.
Love, MMD Afegbua (Kolotian)
Instagram: MMD Afegbua