“Here are your glasses…”

I heard the wall say. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stand up and I didn’t care if anybody was looking at me… Because right in front of me was the most beautiful creature my glasses have ever seen. I could sense she was worried she had probably damaged my spinal cord – Iffahear!

She helped me to my feet and picked up my wallet and my ATM card, and I had no idea what to do.

Tell her you are sorry dummy!

”I am really sorry!” I managed to say as my head started aching.

The wall didn’t quite believe me when I told her I was alright, I begged God to make her stop smiling at me but it seemed it was a no request granting day for me. I could guess what was going on in the mind of the people on the queue, like I was the man and I was the one that was supposed to be the one helping her stand up from the floor but what more can I say? I was too special.

I had to put on the same face I put on when I want to avoid being bed ridden in the hospital and she had no option but leave me alone, but after she had me drinking Lucozade boost. She couldn’t have been in 100, 200 or even 300level, she had the face of an angel and the body that if given to the devil, he would draw men unto himself.

“Miriam, my name is Miriam…” she said … smiling again!!!!…

“Bala, Bala Rabe,” I replied.

She chuckled and mehn! she was not just beautiful, she had a good sense of humor. The Bala Rabe 007 kind of introduction used to be funny to me and me alone.

“You should have your glasses checked, I think they are giving you migraines” and then she walked away. Would you believe me if I say that when I looked at her walk away, I almost asked God to forgive me for fornicating in my mind? Well, not like he was going to answer anyways.

The rest of the day was filled with feelings of remorse, I ended up going back home without registering my GSTs and all things being equal, I slept for 9hours only to wake up to see that all my light bulbs were fried due to fluctuations of current. That didn’t really bother me, what bothered me was how stupid I was not to ask Miriam for a contact. At some point I wished I was not like that but will you believe me if I tell you that I stood up from the bed, straight to the mirror and discovered I was smiling? Like I was smiling and I had no idea. I read somewhere that the human heart beat increases to some certain wavelength of sound, Miriam’s voice had that wavelength. Her eyes, piercing; her lips, dangerous and her body…killing – I know.

I checked my phone and saw about 10missed calls, 4 from MUM and 6 from Lami. I knew my mother was not going to sleep if I didn’t call her and somewhat pretend like I was okay but even after I called her forming James Bond, she caught me lying (or pretending) that I was perfectly okay. I told her I was having migraines again and almost had the attack, she told me she talked to the family doctor who has directed her to a Doctor of Optometry in UNIBEN and she would want me to go there the following day.

The truth is, I stopped taking medications for my eye problems when I resumed school but situation was critical, so I had to go see an eye doctor this time around. I called Lami later and she went on and on with how she knocked on my door for hours and I didn’t open – yeah! Add ‘sleeping deep’ to part of my side effects. I asked where she was and she said she was at a fresher’s welcome party and I gave an evil laugh telling her that she had better hurry back home to check her appliances because of the high current, she told me she switched off everything before she left – I know! I b wan make she come chill with me small.

She got back that evening smelling of alcohol and I got angry with her for being careless. That night was the first time I actually had someone under my care. I mean, I have had nights standing at my Mum’s door, listening to her cries – yeah – and I couldn’t do anything aside wait – and guard the door – till she stopped crying, I didn’t grow up knowing how to care or to be cared for. What if I say I never hugged Mum?

Anyways, I helped put Lami to sleep and stayed in her room an hour after she slept. To further prove it to you that someone was actually under my care, I cleaned her rest room that had hangover vomits everywhere. I watched her sleep and she looked so beautiful. At some point she rolled on the bed and some part of her body I shouldn’t be seeing were flaunting themselves.

Balarabe! Common, she is drunk. She won’t even know you did it. Even if she knows, she will be ashamed to say it. After all you have done worst…

Nah! The voice in my head couldn’t have been back. I hated that voice, I hated when it said things to me. Out of all the voices in my head, this I hated.

I practically ran out of her house, I hated myself for even thinking of taking advantage of her. Depression denied me of my sleep that day, some nights like these… I wish I could go into oblivion, my doctor asked me one day how I feel sometimes at night and I told him that I always feel like killing myself, but then I am scared the pain will be more than that of me living. Truth is, I get suicidal at times, but I after living in hell on earth, I nor fit go buy land for hell fire nah!


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