If you spent half of your teenage years on the hospital bed, you will understand when I say that hospital and Doctors suck. Maybe you will not understand. I once had this beautiful girl that was on a bed close to mine in the hospital, we talked and she told me she was admitted for Malaria. Few hours later, she drew her last breathe; she was young and full of life and her Mum fainted five times in 4minutes on hearing the news. San… Sandra was her name. You want to know why she died? Because a Doctor thought the malaria was not serious, meanwhile the parasite had entered her bloodstream. Now you understand. And I feel bad right now because I honestly don’t remember her real name, but lets just call her Sandra.

The Optometry clinic in the University of Benin wasn’t really the hospital setting but with people seated on what looked like the waiting section and young students in white whatever going in and out of different rooms. If I had absolutely nothing on these students, the fact that they all had glasses on was eerie!

After spending almost 20minutes looking for the Doctor, I finally met a woman who told me that the Doctor I came to see was not around but had instructed that I be directed to the student who was working in his Lab on that faithful day.

Arrrrrgh! I pray make student touch u oh… whatever that was in my head said.

I told the woman that I would come back but she insisted that the student was very good and was capable of attending to me; she had this convincing smile that was not so different from the one Mum used whenever she wants to poison me with sleeping drugs. Sometimes I knew there were sleep inducers, but I have weak spot for Pounded Yam and Egusi soups.

I entered the Lab at last and the atmosphere was taken over by a familiar scent, a perfume or odor. There were some untagged machines that looked like microscopes everywhere and there was a girl in white whatever attending to a patient. I entered the office and before I could say Hi, she pointed to the direction of a seat without looking at me and she signaled two fingers which I thought meant she would be with me in the next two minutes.

Well, I was not wrong.  Two minutes later, she was done and when I raised my head up to see the girl that had the effrontery to shut me up with her hands, it was the last person I expected to see.

“Well, seems somebody takes to advice” Miriam said. I was taken of guard again but my mouth was going to say something this time around.

“Wow! You just have a way of getting patients don’t you?” I replied, smiling impishly and totally trying my best not to let her know I was embarassed.

“What do you think? Stalker…” Miriam said, she was so beautiful. Her eyes… I could bet my fingers had contact lenses on.

“I think I will stalk better if you simply fix my migraines” I replied.

When she took my glasses, she had to ask where I got the frames from because they were well; customized 15 carat gold frame with my name etched on it; a 16th birthday gift from Grandma, she died few months after my birthday in a plane crash. You know, most people wouldn’t believe if I told them my frames were pure gold so I didn’t bother, besides I wouldn’t want Ekosodin brethren rubbing me of my precious. Have you seen Falz’s frames? Good.

Miriam said my lenses had some faults with lens power and all other craps I didn’t care to listen to. She must have noticed that I was straining my eyes so hard to see her talk that she had to return the glasses to me, apologizing for making me blind – she did blinded me.

I sat there looking at her write down my complaints and I wondered how a girl would be this beautiful even without makeup, I prayed she didn’t take off her lab “whatever” coat else I might have to visit the nearest catholic church to confess my sins – ladies and mentlgen, my prayer was answered.

She asked if I had an English name and I proudly replied “Bahlah” in British ascent.

The rest of the week was filled with so many parties welcoming Freshers(Freshmen). I attended few of the parties and I wondered when Churches started calling their events parties. Like why would someone invite me for a Fresher’s party only to find out that “party” is a church service?

Oh! I should probably tell you that UNIBEN is a city blessed with so many Christians, if you don’t speak in tongues, you are like those travelers on the day of Pentecost – wondering why everyone is speaking in tongues. I gave up being a dedicated Christian for two reasons, my dedicated Dad was worse than a womanizer and I was tired of asking God for forgiveness every single day, I needed free conscience.

I got new lenses but I didn’t see Miriam when I went to the Optometry lab and crap!!!!… I still didn’t have her phone number. I also got drugs and somehow I didn’t listen to the dosage count the doctor was giving because I was furious for not seeing Miriam.



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