It was on a Sunday morning, Lami came into the room asking if I was going to church. She met me on my laptop, trying to finish a program I was writing for a company with a stick of cigarette in my mouth.
“Seriously? You smoke?” she asked, totally not looking like she was against it.
The cigarette in my mouth was an irony on its own, if I dared light it, I was probably going to die of choking so putting it in my mouth reminded me that I had the power to choose if I lived or die. It was like having something that can kill and not giving it a chance. I intended explaining to Lami like I just did but then I turned to look at her all set for church and damn she was beautiful, but what she had on was too revealing for a church service.
“You probably should go and change that skirt, I can practically see your white panties” with all intention of flirting. Thank God for her, I was yet to light my gas cooker since I moved into the compound, I know this statement is totally unrelated but I just thought I should add it to this paragraph to make it long.
“Naughty boy, A church treat says it is not white” We had been flirting with ourselves for sometimes, you see…
The past few days had seen us getting closer than we should, she could talk to me on anything and I could also, but I chose to tell her the not so family things. Two days earlier, she forced me to a party and she got drunk, like totally wasted and I had to bring her home, she said so many things that night that she had no idea she was saying and she told me she liked me – See why I hate alcoholic drinks?
She had been locked up all her life and UNIBEN was perfect timing for exploration, sometimes I ended up being confused whenever I tried placing her personality. Thing is, she was getting too close to me and it was not a good thing, the fact that I was doing likewise didn’t go down well either.
“OMG! You didn’t wear panties? To church?” The truth is I had no idea why I was teasing and flirting, I guess I just wanted to know her limits.
“Of course I did, don’t be an Hediat!”
She placed her hands on the zip of the skirt and gave me a seductive stare that had “You want to dare me?” written all over it.
Memories flashed, I felt like I was taking advantage of her and guilt took over. I stormed out of the room and straight to the balcony, I thought the memory was gone, I freaking thought the memories of my childhood was gone but I was wrong. It was right in front of me some seconds past.
“Are you alright?” I heard Lami say behind me.
No I was not alright, I couldn’t be alright. See my childhood was messed up. I grew up not having my parents around when I needed them. I was closer to some random housemaids who abused me sexually and just 4years ago, I did something really bad and my parents covered it up to keep family image and I am still hunted by the event. I hate myself!
I knew I couldn’t tell her anything about my past and possibly my family. I turned to look at her, totally forgetting to check if there was a tear in my eyes.
“Bala, are you crying?” she asked…
I tried cleaning the “tear” and she continued; “I am sorry if what I did there hurt you, I was just playing. It won’t happen again…”
“It wasn’t your fault dummy… I am just one messed up du…” before I could finish my sentence, she opened her arms wide and gave me a hug that I totally never expected.
“You don’t have to explain, fool!” she whispered.
Well, I guess you could say things just got worst, getting to see my weakness made it worse. I am stone-cold and this girl was cutting deep, seeing inner parts exposed – damn! I know I am not good with rhymes but if you are a wrestling fan, you probably notice Stone cold (Steve Austin) and Cena(John) in those words.
She ended up not going to church, we sat at home all day watching movies and playing PS4. She flogged me in PES15 like I was a baby and she made sure I cooked food, served her and watch her eat. She finished the food and I packed the plate, then I went to eat my own food – I am Bala and I am against betting with girls!…
Top of the matter was she never asked what had happened earlier, even if it was obvious she was curious.